


Crushed

by yumimum



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 17:32:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yumimum/pseuds/yumimum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Did you ever wonder what could have happened if our favourite vamp had reacted differently after being disinvited from the Slayer’s home? Set immediately post-Crush, Spike takes a stand, and Buffy is forced to face some harsh truths. Will she finally admit her true feelings, or continue swimming in that famous river called denial? Will it even matter?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Fear.

For over a century, Spike had revelled in it—gotten a thrill as it engulfed his victim’s eyes. He would rejoice when the paralysing terror his demon visage evoked, would merge with the loathed acceptance of their inevitable fate. The world was his to experience through bloodshed and terror, with his Dark Princess by his side, and with death and destruction in their wake. Unlife had been good.

And then he met her. The Slayer. Buffy Summers.

Pain in his arse and love of his bloody life.

Somewhere along the way, his entire world had tilted on its axis. The tiny blonde had worked her way into his unbeating heart. His every waking moment consumed by thoughts of the girl who should be his mortal enemy. The girl who’d made him want to change.

Tonight, Spike had seen that fear in her emerald green eyes just moments before she slammed the door in his face. Disbelief clouded his mind as he remained there, staring in bewilderment at the Summers’ front door, hoping it would somehow provide the answers he sought. Numbness overwhelmed the stunned vampire. The bitch had disinvited him! Even before he’d tied her up and declared his love, she’d gone and bloody locked him out!

The duel rejection from both her life and home was crippling. Pain and anger burnt a fiery trail within him; hurt and betrayal fuelled the flames. Spike felt suffocated by his frustration. So much so, that two hours and several bottles of Jack Daniels later, Willy had been faced with a trashed bar and a dead Tyrahl demon bleeding all over his new pool table.

Armed with another bottle of whiskey, courtesy of the hapless bartender, Spike staggered through Sunnydale’s filthy alleyways, somehow finding himself beneath Buffy’s bedroom window. The house was shrouded in darkness, and using his preternatural senses, he detected the steady heartbeats of the three females inside. He was extremely tempted to pound on the door until the Slayer agreed to talk to him, but he knew Buffy was stubborn enough to ignore the commotion, and the thought of dealing with an extremely pissed off Joyce was enough to scare even him.

_Pathetic!_

William the Bloody, master vampire and former scourge of Europe, terrified of the Slayers mother! God, if Peaches could see him now...

With a dejected sigh, Spike turned and headed for home, never noticing the shadowy figure in the window above.

 

Buffy couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her exhausted lids, she pictured his expressive blue eyes pleading with her to believe him.

_I’m drowning in you._

The words alone caused a dull pain to spread throughout her chest. A battle raged within; her duties as a Slayer conflicting with the desires of her aching heart. And, oh, did she want to give in, accept his words and say to hell with what’s expected of her. Take a page out of Faith’s handbook for once in her life.

Want. Take. Have.

As usual, the sensible part of her mind had come out victorious. Angry words spilt from her lips as she dismissed his feelings and watched his eyes fill with hurt and anger. Rolling over to her side, Buffy stared at her bedroom window and the new garlic accessories that adorned it.

 _Dammit! He’s a demon, he doesn’t have a soul. He doesn’t even know how to love,_ she thought, trying to convince her own mind that it was just a sick infatuation on his part. _What about Drusilla? Her inner voice answered back. He loved her for over a hundred years._

Sighing, she rolled to her back and gazed at her bedroom ceiling. There was no denying the fact that Spike had been devoted to his loony toon ex-girlfriend. Hell, he’d probably still be with her if the skanky ho-bag wasn’t spreading her legs for every demon that crossed her path—and that was so not jealousy she felt at the thought of Spike and another woman!

 _My God,_ she thought. _He was willing to stake his sire to convince me he was serious._ The significance of that action was not lost on the Slayer. Dru wasn’t just his maker. For over a century she was his entire world, and the fact that Spike was willing to dust her was incredible. Buffy had seen the truth of his words behind his beseeching gaze, and if Spike had only looked a little closer, he would have realised that she not only believed him, but was desperately trying to conceal her own raging emotions.

Spike was changing. Admittedly, the chip prohibited him from biting anyone, but Spike was clever, and Buffy knew that if he’d really wanted to, he would have found a way around it. _I bet that crazy bitch would have provided him with fresh kills,_ she thought resentfully. Instead, Spike had adapted, fought alongside her, and helped her take on Glory. Buffy had entrusted the safety of her family to the vampire on several occasions.

Entrusting him with her heart, however, was another matter entirely.

Buffy had learned her lesson with Angel. Never again would she let herself act on her emotions when the undead were involved. Even if the vampire in question had the bluest eyes, the most perfect cheekbones and the most kissable lips she’d ever seen!

A familiar tingle at the back of her neck had Buffy crossing the room to peer out of her bedroom window. She arrived in time to see Spike, his shoulders slumped in defeat, turn and walk away. Sighing, she returned to her bed, a single, dejected notion ringing clear over her confused mind.

_They always walk away._

 

Fortunately for the beleaguered vampire, Spike staggered through the door to his crypt mere moments before the first golden rays of sunlight broke through the early morning haze. Crossing the upper level with as much grace as his inebriated limbs permitted, he stumbled through the hatch and landed in a twisted heap on the ground below. Swallowing the last of his whiskey, he hurled the bottle at the opposite wall, flinching as the sound of smashing glass reverberated throughout the ancient structure.

“Crazy bloody slayers,” he mumbled, before resting his head on the floor and passing out.

 

It was late afternoon when Spike regained consciousness, quite literally, nursing the hangover from Hell. Frowning, he tried to piece together his disjointed memories. Spike’s aching limbs reminded him of the brawl he’d started at Willy’s. His clothing reeked of Tyrahl blood and who knows what, from the alleyways he’d passed through on the way to...

_Oh, Bollocks._

“Please, God,” he groaned as he remembered being outside Buffy’s home. “Please tell me I didn’t recite any soddin’ poetry!” A sardonic chuckle escaped his throat at the thought of serenading his fair Juliet. “She’d have bloody staked me for sure,” he muttered, hauling himself up the ladder to the upper level.

He poured a tall glass of blood and mixed in some burba weed, before switching on the television and sitting down in his worn armchair. The latest episode of Passions faded into background noise, his thoughts preoccupied with Buffy’s sudden decision to banish him from her house. She was the strongest Slayer he’d ever seen. Her fighting skills were honed to perfection and her body was a lethal weapon.

_So what the hell is she afraid of?_

Okay, so in retrospect, chaining her up probably wasn’t the best way to win her heart, but in his defence, she hadn’t left him with many options.

_What was I supposed to do, show up at her doorstep with flowers and a bloody picnic?_

Buffy wouldn’t give him the time of day. His every effort to prove to her that he had changed had been ignored, and he was forced to watch as time after time, the girl of his dreams dismissed him with a cutting remark and a flick of her golden hair.

_I had to make her listen, had to prove I’m not like the others._

And yet, the fact remained that Buffy had disinvited him prior to his somewhat misguided kidnapping. Why now? He’d had an invite to her home ever since coming to her for help back in the Angelus days; back when he’d wanted her dead, and yet, she’d never bothered to revoke it. Spike couldn’t even remember the last time he’d done something purely out of the evilness of his heart, and with the chip in his head, Buffy knew he couldn’t physically hurt her or her family.

_Wouldn’t even if I could. Silly chit should know that by now!_

Despite these facts, something had scared the Slayer enough to banish him from her home. Picturing her face as she closed the door, Spike’s eyes widened as he remembered her emerald green orbs, swamped by that familiar fear and something akin to regret.

“Bleedin’ Christ!” Jumping to his feet, Spike felt the unneeded air catch in his long dead lungs. “She’s not afraid of me,” he whispered, as the final piece of the puzzle slid into place.

“She’s afraid of what she feels!”

After his moment of clarity, Spike spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about Buffy’s recent actions. He was convinced that she had feelings for him and now things were starting to make sense. She was afraid of getting hurt. Spike knew her romantic history was nothing to brag about. Losing your virginity to your first love, who then decides to torment and kill your friends, all the while, trying to send the world to Hell, doesn’t tend to fill one with confidence. Add to that, getting sweet-talked into a one night stand with an idiot college boy, and then running the very real risk of dying from boredom due to long term exposure to Captain Cardboard was enough to make anyone skittish.

 _Thank God those wankers were stupid enough to leave her_ , he thought, as a sinful grin curled his lips.

No wonder she was panicking. He could understand her concerns about caring for another vampire, but as far as he was concerned, Buffy was still acting like an unreasonable bitch, and his demon’s anger was protesting in full force. Buffy was trying so hard to be normal; she was denying what she really wanted.

A normal life. Spike snorted in disgust. “She’s the bloody Slayer for crying out loud, she’s never going to be normal.”

_And normal will never be enough for her._

“Bugger this!” he said in exasperation, rising from his armchair and shrugging into his duster. Spike began to pace around his crypt. “I’m not just gonna sit here and brood like that soddin’ git, Angel. I’ve got me a girl to find!”

The instant that dusk fell, Spike stormed from his crypt, black leather swirling behind him, and single-mindedly went in search of Buffy. His bloody grandsire had really done a number on the poor girl’s head, and one way or another, Spike was determined to make the stubborn chit listen to what he had to say. He knew her patrol routes well enough, and catching a trace of her vanilla perfume, he headed across town to confront her.

 

“You’re one helluva piece of work, you know that, Summers?”

Buffy froze mid-step as Spike’s booming voice split the silence of the night. With a deep sigh she let her shoulders drop. _Just fantastic,_ she thought, turning to face him. _My night is complete._

“What the hell do you want, Spike?” she asked, trying to sound as disinterested as possible. “I told you to stay away from me.”

Spike chuckled in response, allowing his eyes to wander the length of her body. “Yeah, well, I never was one to follow the rules, luv.”

A smirk curled his lips when he noticed Buffy was unable to meet his eyes.

“We need to talk,” he said. “No, actually, I’m going to talk. You’re going to shut your gob and bloody well listen for a change.”

“Who the hell do—“

“Never took you for a coward, slayer” he said, continuing as if he hadn’t heard her, and delighting in the pissed off look on her face. _That’s right, sweetheart_ , he thought. _Not gonna let you walk all over me anymore._

“I’m not afraid of you, Spike,” she said fiercely, refusing to be intimidated by the cocky vampire. Spike had an over-confident air surrounding him tonight, as if he knew something she didn’t, and Buffy didn’t like it one bit.

“Never said you were, luv. His eyes drifted down her body and back up like a hot caress. “Truth is you’re afraid of yourself, afraid of letting me in.”

Buffy’s heart was beating frantically as she felt the truth of his words. _Oh, Spike,_ she thought, _I think it’s too late for that._ Desperate to end the conversation before she let her true feelings slip to the observant vampire, Buffy summoned up as much anger as she could muster. “God, you’re deluded,” she said, turning away from him, hoping that he hadn’t heard the tremor in her voice.

Spike grabbed her roughly by the upper arm, spinning her around to face him, flinching as his chip fired. “I’m deluded?” he asked. “You’re the one who doesn’t know what the hell she wants anymore!” He loosened his grip on her arms, sliding his hands gently down to her wrists. ”You’re so damn busy living by everybody else’s rules, sweetheart, you’re denying what you really want!”

Pulling her hands from his grasp, Buffy took a step back, trying to gather her thoughts. Instantly, Spike was in front of her, cupping her cheek in his palm, drawing her eyes to his. “You feel the heat between us, Buffy, the passion, and it scares the hell out of you.”

“You’re wrong,” she whispered, turning from him, forcing her uncooperative body to push him away. “You’re wrong!

“Is that right, luv?” he smirked. “Then how come you’ve barred me from your house? I’ve had an invite for years, ever since the great poof and his bloody Acathla bullshit! You didn’t revoke it back when I wanted to soddin’ kill you, but as soon as I open my heart, you get Red to work her witchy mojo.” He was yelling as he walked in circles around her, gesturing wildly. “Christ, Buffy, you act as if I tied you up and bloody tortured you, when all I did was tell you, I love you!”

Disorientated and stunned into silence, Buffy wanted to argue but her words of denial lodged in her throat, unable to pass her dry lips. Spike approached her cautiously; he could see the emotions that warred behind her troubled eyes. “We could be so good together,” he said softly, “and if you weren’t so damn scared, you’d see it for yourself!” Buffy could barely form a coherent thought. Every word that came from his mouth echoed the admissions of her inner voice during the restless hours of the previous night. “Normal will never be enough for you, Buffy,” he whispered, brushing a ghost of a kiss against her lips.

The action brought Buffy out of her stupor and he found himself propelled away from her warm body. Desperation gripped her mind as she felt her armour get stripped away piece by piece.

“You’re a demon, Spike,” she said, quoting her slayer training. “Let me give you a lesson in Vampire 101.” Raising her right hand, she pointed an emphatic finger at his chest. “You, don’t have a soul. You aren’t capable of loving someone!”

Even as the words left her mouth, they felt hollow. Spike wasn’t like other vampires. He had shown repeatedly that his capacity to love was strong enough to overrule his demonic nature.

“You don’t believe that,” he said confidently. A devilish smirk stretching his lips as he cocked his head to study her. “Course if you wanna play teacher and naughty student, luv, I’m more than willing.”

A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest when he saw the beautiful pink flush spread over Buffy’s cheeks.

“You’re a pig, Spike,” she said, with no real force behind her words.

Okay, not her wittiest retort, admittedly, but she was busy focusing her energies on ignoring the little voice that agreed with him.

“Oink, oink, sweetheart,” he replied, giving her a wolfish grin.

Buffy fought down the reactions of her traitorous body as he ran his tongue over his teeth. The look in his eyes told her he wanted to eat her alive, which for Spike, was quite possible either way.

“I’m gonna make you love me by the time this is all done and dusted,” he said, grinning and taking a step closer to the obviously shaken Slayer.

She seemed so vulnerable at that moment that he felt guilty for teasing her. Stopping mid step, Spike froze as a stake suddenly appeared before him, clasped tightly in Buffy’s hand.

“Keep talking, Spike, and I’ll show you some dust.”

God, he loved her fire. His girl never stopped surprising him. As it was, the shaking of her hand betrayed her nervousness. “Never gonna happen, pet,” he said, smiling softly. “You couldn’t kill me, anymore than I could you.” Buffy was unable to escape his powerful gaze. A shiver ran down her spine as she registered his words but still refused to accept the truth of them. “Face it, luv,” he whispered, “your life would be much less interesting without me in it.”

Looking into her eyes, he sighed deeply and took a cautious step towards her. Buffy’s arms were wrapped protectively around her stomach, her stake clasped firmly in her hand, and Spike could see that she was trembling slightly. She swallowed hard as she fought to keep her turbulent emotions under control, startling as he suddenly stood before her and placed both hands on her waist in a loose embrace.

Looking deep into her eyes, he spoke softly. “I will never give up on you, Buffy, and this is real, whether you want to believe it or not. This is real for me. I’m not like those other idiots, pet. I’m not going to walk away from you.”

 _Oh my God_ , she thought. _How does he do that? How can he know me so well, when even my own friends don’t understand?_

Buffy watched as he raised his left hand to brush a stray lock of hair from her face. Cupping her cheek, he smoothed it gently with his thumb. The pretence was suddenly too much for the Slayer to keep up. Exhaling softly, she nuzzled her face against his palm and offered no resistance as his grip tightened on her hips, pulling her into a passionate embrace. His soft lips nibbled and teased her own as his tongue begged entrance to her mouth. Grasping tightly onto the soft leather of his duster, Buffy held him to her, afraid he would disappear, despite his vow to the contrary.

Spike’s arms banded around her waist, swallowing her soft moans of pleasure, until reluctantly breaking the kiss he allowed her to breathe. Refusing to sever contact entirely, he stood before her, their foreheads touching as her heavy eyelids slowly fluttered open. Spike watched as the lustful glaze slowly cleared from her eyes, confusion and panic chasing away the blissful calm of mere moments ago.

“I can’t... I can’t do this.” She wrenched herself from his arms and turned her back to him. Buffy ignored the pained expression that crossed his face and blinked back her tears, refusing to cry in front of the bewildered vampire. “Not again... please, Spike... I can’t let myself... fall...”

“In love?” he asked quietly, careful to keep his voice low, wanting to avoid distressing her further. Spike’s undead heart clenched as she looked back over her shoulder, anguish swimming in the depths of her red-rimmed eyes that wordlessly pleaded for mercy.

Buffy swallowed hard, her eyes locked with his, and whispered the only words she could force past the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry, Spike.”

In a blink she was gone, a flash of blonde darting between the neglected monuments and headstones as she ran from him.

Ran from them.

Spike was torn. His inner William told him to let her go, to give her time and space to clear her thoughts. He felt terrible for being the cause of her pain, something he had long since resolved to never be again. However, Spike knew his girl. Better than anyone. Given the chance, Buffy would deny and rationalise until any progress he had made tonight would be forgotten by the light of day.

“You can’t hide from this forever, Buffy!” Spike called after her retreating form. His demon was screaming at him to follow her, determined to make the stubborn woman see sense. His decision was made for him as his superior vampire senses picked up the salty scent of her tears.

“I have to, Spike,” she whispered from across the cemetery. “I have to.”  
  
With a swish of his duster he set out to find her. “Buggering hell,” he said. “One way or another, that bloody woman’s gonna be the death of me!”

 

Spike knew she was close. The scent of her vanilla perfume permeated the air, and he heard Buffy’s heart rate suddenly increase. Navigating his way around a shattered memorial, Spike paused mid-step as the cause of its destruction became apparent. Thirty metres ahead of him was a glorious sight. Buffy was all business as she launched herself at the demon before her. Spike felt a familiar tightening in his jeans as he watched the Slayer in her natural element.

The vulnerable girl from five minutes ago was nowhere to be seen; a deadly warrior stood in her stead. Twirling in mid-air, Buffy landed a solid kick to the back of the demon’s skull, sending it staggering into a crypt. Spike almost felt sorry for it, until he got his first unobstructed view of the creature as it recovered from Buffy’s assault.

_Oh, Bollocks!_

Increasing his pace, he called out to Buffy just as she delivered a well placed punch to the Celtor demon’s stomach.

“Watch it Slayer! Don’t get—“

“Damn it, Spike,” she shouted furiously. “Just leave me alone!”

The momentary distraction was enough. Razor-sharp teeth flashed in the moonlight as the demon lunged for her throat. Buffy dived to the left as the creature collided with her shoulder, sending them both sprawling to the ground. A sharp pain tore through her stomach as jagged talons sliced through her soft skin. Struggling to get back to her feet, Buffy brought her knees up into the Celtor’s stomach, propelling it up and away from her.

Reaching down, Buffy pulled a dagger from her boot and clambered to her feet. She rushed at the demon and thrust the blade forward, plunging it deep into the Celtor’s abdomen. A swirl of black leather sent her crashing to the ground as liquid fire raced through her blood, and her ears filled with the sound of her thundering pulse.

Unable to think from the pain, Buffy screwed her eyes shut, unaware of being cradled by a strong pair of arms. Spike tightened his hold on her against his chest as a strangled scream tore from her throat and the darkness washed her into oblivion.


	2. Chapter 2

Spike set the unconscious Slayer down on his bed and quickly removed her boots and blood-soaked outfit. Filling a bowl with water, he set about methodically washing the viscous fluid from her body. Celtor blood was highly toxic to humans, usually proving fatal within minutes. Thankfully, it seemed his girl was fighting it.

At least he hoped she was.

Buffy’s lips were tinged slightly blue and her skin was deathly pale. Concentrating on cleaning her stomach wound, Spike tried desperately to ignore the sound of her ragged breathing and faltering heartbeat. Spike’s own body ached in sympathy when he saw the five inch gash that marred the smooth skin of her stomach, the torn edges tinted an angry shade of red. He sighed in relief when he noticed the wound had almost stopped bleeding. Slowly lowering his head, Spike lapped gently at the cut to seal it. A grimace formed on his face when the liquid touched his tongue. Beneath the sweet, intoxicating ambrosia that was slayer blood lay the unmistakable taste of the toxin in her bloodstream.

“God, damn it, Buffy,” he said, smoothing the hair back from her sweaty forehead. “You’ve got to fight this. Do you hear me, sweetheart?” Spike pressed a damp cloth to her brow, softly stroking the apple of her cheek with his thumb. “Come on, luv,” he whispered. “Wake up and show me those beautiful green eyes.” He studied Buffy’s face intently, searching for any flicker or sign that she had heard him. “Why’d you have to be so stubborn, huh?” He sighed. “You couldn’t have just listened to me.”

_I suppose that’s hardly surprising_ , he thought, taking her hand in his and feeling responsible for her current condition.

The noticeable coolness of Buffy’s skin, even against his own low temperature, scared him dreadfully. Raising her hand to his mouth, he pressed a lingering kiss against her delicate fingers. Closing his eyes, Spike sent a silent prayer to a God who had long since forsaken him.

_Please, please don’t take her from me._

“Stay with me, Buffy,” he said, as tears brimmed his bloodshot eyes. “You can’t leave me. I need you... I need you with me. You have to fight this... I’ll fight with you, luv, I swear I will. Just... please... I can’t—“

Spike was interrupted as violent tremors began to rack the Slayer’s petite frame. Clad in just her underwear, Buffy’s skin was covered in goosebumps from the cool air of the crypt. Spike drew his t-shirt over his head and quickly dressed her before climbing under the covers and pulling her into his arms. There was no choice but to let the poison run its course.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered into her hair. “I wish there was more I could do.”

Buffy appeared to mould her body to his as a pained whimper fell from her lips. Holding her tightly, sharing whatever warmth he possessed, Spike continued to talk to her as the shivers slowly abated and her skin lost its sickly pallor. Gradually, Buffy’s breathing evened out and her heartbeat became a regular cadence. Satisfied her life was no longer in immediate danger, Spike heaved a sigh of relief and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead.

Buffy’s healing powers had saved her. Now it was just a matter of time before she woke up. A small part of his brain told him he should contact her mother and Watcher, who were no doubt worrying about her absence. Spike knew, however, that if he did, his crypt would soon be overrun by pissed off scoobies, and one way or another, they would take his girl away from him.

_Not soddin’ likely_.

His demon wouldn’t allow it. No bloody way was he going to stand by and watch the woman he loved be carried away. Holding Buffy’s tiny body closer, he made himself comfortable, keeping his constant vigil over the little slayer who had stolen his long dead heart.

 

Buffy was floating in an abyss of sensation. The debilitating pain from the demon’s attack was lessening, allowing her mind to begin processing her thoughts and emotions. She awoke in stages, her entire body aching and the pressure in her head forcing her eyes to remain closed as her remaining senses worked overtime to process her environment. A low rumbling voice was the first thing to permeate her muddled thoughts. Unable to process the words or meanings, it faded into a comforting background hum.

The heat was getting to Buffy, until a cool palm pressed against her forehead. She moaned in relief as an overwhelming sense of security enveloped her. Gentle fingers stroked her arms; the forbidden aroma of cigarettes and whiskey filtered through to her brain, and she finally connected the dots. The lulling voice and hard, cool chest she lay against belonged to Spike.

She was alive because of Spike.

Gathering her strength, Buffy focused her remaining energies on the continuous words that were spilling from the oblivious vampire’s mouth. So lost in his own thoughts, he never noticed that the girl in his arms was stirring.

“—time I saw you. You were dancing in the Bronze. The light hit you just right, and you were glorious, kitten. I remember thinking even back then, you were something special.” Spike chuckled softly. “Over a century, I was with Dru, then one look at you and I was lost. Denied it of course. Told myself it was wrong. I’m a master vampire for Christ’s sake! Shouldn’t have felt that way about a Slayer... I was supposed to kill you, not fall in love with you.”

Remaining still against his chest, careful not to betray her waking, Buffy let herself consider his words. _I know how you feel, Spike._

“Never could kill you, pet,” he said, smoothing his hands down to rest at the small of her back. “Would never hurt my girl... if you’d only let me prove it to you. I know you’re afraid, Buffy. I was too—bloody terrified to be honest. I just wish you’d give me a chance.” Heaving a deep sigh, Spike placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “How can I make you see how damn good we could be together?”

Swallowing hard, Buffy blinked back her tears, wishing she could reach out and comfort him. Listening as he laid out his thoughts and feelings, unaware that she was hearing every heartfelt word.

“I know you don’t believe me, sweetheart,” he said, teasing his fingers through her golden hair, “but I swear, one day I’m gonna prove that I really do love you.”

_You already have_.

The words clawed at her throat, desperate to be heard. Spike took her right hand in his, entwining their fingers and holding it against his chest. Buffy felt him drop a soft kiss into her hair as she drifted back to sleep, clutching tightly to the hand of her saviour; her lifeline.

Her vampire.

 

It was several hours later that Buffy awoke nestled against Spike’s side. The slight tenderness of her stomach was the only witness to the trauma of the previous night. _Gotta love those slayer healing powers,_ she thought. Bringing a cautious hand to her abdomen, she traced the uneven scar with her fingers before resting her hand against Spike’s toned stomach.

Evidently, Spike had removed her bloodied clothes, and she realised that she was wearing one of his black t-shirts. He’d left her underwear on, and Buffy smiled as she pictured the matching set she’d slipped on before her patrol, not remotely concerned that Spike had seen them up close and personal.

_Gee, way to prioritise, Buffy! Need some, much?_

Shaking her head at the direction her mind was heading, Buffy turned and raised her head to study the sleeping vampire, smiling at the contented expression on his face. Spike’s left arm was stretched behind his head, and what could only be described as a purr, rumbled through his chest. A strong arm tightened around her waist, and Spike shifted his body towards her warmth.

_Even in his sleep, he still seeks me out,_ she thought, slowly tracing his defined stomach muscles with her fingers. _My God, the man’s like a Greek statue!_

Buffy never had the opportunity to really look at him before. Her mind saw the demon and automatically applied the convenient labels.

Vampire. Soulless. Evil.

But as she lay there, secure in the arms of her mortal enemy, Buffy allowed herself to see Spike for what he truly was. No, he didn’t have a soul, but Spike didn’t need one in order to be good. His ability to love, unique among vampires, surpassed it. Buffy knew that Spike would stay true to his word and never abandon her. He would stand by her side every step of the way, whereas Angel had made with the cryptic messages and then left her.

_For her own good._

A brilliant smile lit up her features, as Buffy realised there was no comparison between the two vampires.

Spike loved her without a soul. Angel couldn’t love her enough with one.

Everybody in her life had placed her on a pedestal, a shining example of all that was good in the world. They were always judging her. Always so quick to criticise, never allowing her the chance to just be Buffy Anne Summers.

Everyone, that is, except the master vampire sleeping beside her.

Why should she be held to higher standards than the rest of the population? She saved the world on a regular basis. Didn’t she deserve to be happy for a change? Buffy was sick of trying for that elusive, normal existence. Danger and death were her normality, and if last night had shown her anything, it was that her life could come to an end at any moment. Buffy was determined to make the most of whatever time she had remaining. She was going to put her own wants and needs first for a change. Starting with the man she had denied for so long.

 

Spike awoke slowly, bathed in warmth and surrounded by the sweet vanilla scent of his dream girl. _Bloody hell, I must be dreamin’ again,_ he thought. Refusing to open his eyes, lest she disappear from his arms, Spike listened to the steady thrum of a feminine heartbeat as gentle fingers traced the chiselled lines of his cheekbones before travelling up to tease the unruly curls on his head. Soft lips brushed against his cheek, and he was suddenly wide awake, staring into the luminous gaze of the woman he adored.

“Buffy—“

Spike was silenced as a delicate finger pressed against his lips.

“You saved my life,” she whispered, casting herself astride his slim hips, the evidence of his arousal trapped between them, encased in its denim prison.

A gasp escaped his lips and his hands shot to Buffy’s waist, stilling her movement, “Sweetheart, please...” he groaned. “You don’t have to do this if you aren’t... Buffy, you don’t owe me anything.”

_Shut up you stupid sod!_ Spike’s demon screamed. _Do you want her to stop?_

Of course he didn’t want her to stop. This was Spike’s favourite fantasy—the Slayer seducing him, but there was too much riding on this moment and he needed her to be sure. _Love her too bloody much to do this half-arsed._ Spike knew that one taste of heaven would never be enough to satisfy him, and if this went ahead, there was no way he would ever let her go. He couldn’t bear the idea of being something she regretted. A mistake made in a moment of weakness.

He had to offer her a way out. “I don’t want you doing anything because of some messed up sense of gratitude.”

“I know,” she said, “and that’s not what this is about.” Buffy inhaled deeply and stared into his awe-filled eyes. “This isn’t easy for me, Spike. It’s just that...well...I guess I finally woke up.” Spike smiled affectionately, as Buffy frowned, wrinkling her nose at her unintentional pun. “I don’t want to hide from this anymore,” she said. “I want you.”

Spike’s look of utter disbelief faded as a wave of guilt washed over his chiselled features. “Last night... I was pushing you too hard,” he mumbled. “I just wanted you to see...” Casting his eyes downward in shame, he said quietly, “It’s my fault you got hurt.”

“That’s not true,” she said, bringing his eyes to hers. “I should have listened to you. I was being all stubborn Buffy—okay, maybe not _just_ last night,” she said apologetically when Spike raised an accusing eyebrow. “My point being that even though you were pushing me—everything you said... you were right.” The shock was written all over his expressive features, and Buffy’s smile grew to its radiant best.

“Fetch a pen, luv. Gonna get you to write that one down,” he said, cocky facade now safely back in place. Buffy’s actions were tempting him to hope in a way he had never allowed himself previously, and Spike couldn’t help the joyous chuckle which spilt forth from his lips, earning him a playful swat against his chest. “Oh I see, can’t keep your hands off my tight little bod, huh, pet?”

From Buffy’s position, she could tell there was nothing _little_ about Spike’s body, but decided against mentioning it. Spike’s ego was big enough already.

“I heard you... last night,” she said nervously, watching the smirk slip from his lips. Spike ducked his head in uncharacteristic shyness. “I was pretty out of it for a while there, but I heard you... talking to me.”

“I thought you were asleep,” he said. “Didn’t know you were listenin’... wasn’t really talkin’ to you. It was more like... talkin’ to myself.” Buffy reached down to cup his chin, forcing his eyes to meet hers. “I almost lost you last night,” he whispered. “I don’t know what I’d have done if...”

Buffy’s heart clenched when she saw the desolation cloud his eyes “It was all true, Spike,” she said. “Every word. I was so afraid of myself and what people would think that I panicked. I didn’t know how to justify having feelings for a soulless vampire. What did that say about me?” Buffy was unable to miss the hurt that flashed across his features. “I was scared and I fought against it, tried to convince myself that you couldn’t love me.”

“I noticed,” he said dryly, though he was unable to hide the slight grin that curled his lips. “What are you saying, Buffy?” he asked, unneeded breath catching in his lungs.

“I’m saying that I believe you,” she said softly, leaning forward until scarce inches separated their upper bodies. “And I’m not afraid anymore, Spike.”

Reaching up, he cupped her cheeks in his palms, and, gently pulling her face down to his, he gazed into her eyes, looking through to her very soul.

“Would you still run, if I told you I loved you?” he said, combing his right hand through her honey blonde tresses. A tender smile graced Buffy’s lips as she nuzzled into his palm, her eyes returning his gaze.

“Would you still chase me if I did?”

Immediately, Spike closed the distance and caught her lips in a fervent embrace. His arms fell to wrap around her tiny body, holding her tighter as he deepened the kiss. Breaking apart to allow her to breathe, Spike whispered against her parted lips, “Till the end of the world.”


	3. Chapter 3

They met in a passionate fury. Pleasure-filled moans fled their mouths, until with one final gasp they both went under, drowning in a sea of desire. Spikes fingers dug into her waist as he rolled her beneath him, never once breaking contact with her lips. Settling himself between her thighs, he ground his erection against her scorching heat, delighting as Buffy moaned and whimpered in response.

Spike poured everything he had into the kiss, nibbling, teasing, coaxing her lips to open fully and allow him to deepen his embrace. He groaned as Buffy drew his tongue into her heated cavern, sucking rhythmically until she pulled back gasping for air. Refusing to lose contact, Spike peppered her face with soft kisses as he whispered dark promises against her golden skin. “I won’t let you regret this, Buffy,” he said, running his tongue along her racing pulse point. “I swear I’m gonna make it so good for you.” Spike slid his hands up her smooth thighs, feeling Buffy shudder as his cool fingers traced the edges of her panties.

How could she have ever considered denying herself this? Nothing that felt this wondrous could possibly be wrong. With each firm caress Spike made her feel desired, powerful as a woman, not just as the Slayer. They fit together, lithe bodies moving in unison as they climbed to ever increasing heights of pleasure. Never before had she felt anything so incredible, so thrilling. So right.

Fisting her hands into his soft curls, Buffy pulled his mouth to hers, attacking his lips with a passion that had lain dormant for too long. Spike growled as he returned her kiss, tracing the curve of her waist with his hands until he reached the underside of her bra. Stroking his thumbs over her lace covered nipples, he groaned as Buffy arched her body towards him, seeking more of his sensuous touch. When oxygen became an issue, Spike pulled away, supporting himself on bended elbow as he studied the blonde temptress gasping for breath beneath him.

This was better than any of his wildest fantasies. There wasn’t a man alive, or undead for that matter, who didn’t get hard at the sight of a woman wearing his clothes. Spike was no exception. A sense of possession swept over him as he took in the sight of Buffy, in his bed, clad in his t-shirt, with lips swollen from his kisses. Nothing could have wiped the sinful smirk from his lips as Spike lowered his head to her neck and gently nipped at her earlobe.

“Bloody hell, pet, I should have chained you up years ago!” Laughing, he deftly avoided a playful slap as Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist and rolled him to his back.

Straddling his slender hips Buffy ground her pelvis against his, eliciting a gasp from the prone vampire. A smirk to rival his own split her lips as she interlaced their fingers, bringing his hands up to rest on the pillow beside his head. Leaning down, she brushed a kiss across his soft lips. “Stay,” she said, before sitting back and reaching for his belt buckle.

Buffy was consumed by a sense of empowerment. Her previous sexual experiences could be described as vanilla at best. All gentle sighs and sweet caresses. Angel and Parker aside, Riley’s sexual repertoire consisted of two positions, and despite her efforts to encourage him otherwise, he showed no interest in broadening his horizons. Sat astride this beautiful creature, Buffy knew that Spike would be willing to teach her, and she was more than willing to learn.

“Do you trust me, Spike?” she said, slowly undoing his buckle. Buffy watched his alabaster chest heaving gulps of unnecessary air as his curious eyes fixed on her hands. Raising his hips slightly, he allowed her to pull the belt free from his jeans. “I think I deserve a little revenge, don’t you?” Buffy draped the leather around her neck and ran her hands over his flat stomach.

Spike was stunned. Buffy’s blonde hair brushed against his chest as the girl of his dreams nipped and kissed her way to his lips, not stopping until the only thing separating them was their mingled breath. “Give me your hands,” she said, punctuating her request with a teasing rock of her hips.

Spike had never been so turned on in his life! He didn’t know where this little sex kitten had been hiding, but he couldn’t wait to see what she had in store for him. Hurrying to oblige, he chuckled against her lips when Buffy looped the belt around his wrists and secured them to the wrought iron bars behind his bed.

“My kitten wants to play, huh?” he asked, thrilled at the direction things were heading.

Buffy took his mouth in a bruising kiss, nipping at his full bottom lip then soothing it with a swipe of her tongue. Spike by his very nature liked to play the dominant role in the bedroom, but Buffy had taken this in a completely unexpected direction and he couldn’t deny how aroused he was.

Buffy was watching him with a predatory gleam in her eyes. She could have whipped out a stake and Spike would have dusted happy and without a fight. Leaning back on her haunches, Buffy’s fingers toyed with the bottom of the t-shirt as she ground her lace covered centre against his straining erection.

“Do you want to touch me, Spike?” she asked, raising the hem and allowing him a glimpse of her soaking wet thong.

“God, yes!” he said, groaning as the scent of her arousal flooded his nostrils. Spike pressed his aching hardness against her, desperately seeking some friction and crying out as she moved away.

“How long have you wanted me?” she asked, scooting backwards and popping the buttons on his jeans. Drawing his zip down in an agonisingly slow motion, Buffy reached in to release his throbbing manhood and wrapped her delicate hand around his cock. Buffy squeezed gently as she stroked his solid length, swiping her thumb over the pre-come that glistened at its rounded head. “How long, Spike?” she asked again, staring into his eyes as she brought the sticky fluid to her lips.

“Fuck, Buffy!” he said, panting as he watched her wrap her wet tongue around her digit, tasting him. “Forever, bloody forever!”

Spike stifled a cry as she suddenly turned from him, taunting him with her delectable ass as she bent forward to unlace his boots and pull his jeans off by the legs. Moving to kneel between his thighs, Buffy paused to admire the gorgeous naked vampire all trussed up for her to play with.

_Yummy!_

Spike watched transfixed as Buffy placed her hands on his knees, sliding her palms up to his thighs, she gently caressed and stroked him taking care to avoid the area most desperate for her touch. Turning her hands, she lightly scratched her nails down his pale skin, leaving tiny welts in her wake. The contrast of softness and unexpected pain was driving Spike wild. Pulling against his restraints, he arched into her touch—her name, a whispered prayer on his lips. Buffy’s eyes were clouded in lust as she moved to settle on his thighs, his cock resting hard and throbbing against her stomach.

With a sultry glance towards his eyes, Buffy rocked against his aching erection and fisted her hands in the material of the shirt. “Do you want me to take it off?” she asked, pulling it over her head at his eager nod.

Spike was panting as his eyes took in the vision before him. Even though he had undressed her last night, his mind had been focused purely on her survival, and hadn’t registered the luscious curves contained within the black lace. Pleased with his reaction, Buffy reached out to toy with his nipple, lowering her head to take the hard peak into her mouth. Spike growled as she clamped her teeth around it, giving the skin a playful nip. The sounds he made went straight to her burning centre, and a rush of arousal flooded her soaking wet panties.

“Fuck, pet,” he said, groaning as Buffy placed another pillow behind his head, urging him to sit up further. “What are you doing to me?”

Buffy’s answer was immediate and simple. “I’m loving you, Spike.” She ran her tongue down the column of his neck and gently scraped her blunt teeth against Drusilla’s sire mark. “I’m loving you.”

If Spike’s heart could beat, if would have burst from the joy that flooded it with her words. “Kiss me,” he said, as Buffy shifted her body once again, pressing her lips to his in a kiss filled with passion and the promise of tomorrow.

“I have a confession to make”, she said, reaching behind her to release the clasp of her bra. Spike’s mouth watered as she removed the flimsy piece of lace before wrapping her arms around his neck. “I wanted you too. I would lie in bed at night, imagining how it would feel to let you touch me.”

“Untie me, pet, and I’ll make all those dreams come true,” he said, testing his restraints.

A soft, lilting laugh filtered from Buffy’s lips as she ground her hips against his straining cock. “Bit full of yourself, aren’t you?”

Spike donned his trademark smirk as he thrust upwards, making Buffy gasp. “And you’re fixin’ to be, luv” he said, blue eyes dancing in anticipation.

The smirk slipped as Buffy placed her hands on her own stomach, slowly sliding them up to cup her breasts. Throwing her head back, she released an impassioned moan as she gently squeezed her puckered nipples.

“Did you think about this, Spike?” she asked, delighting in the sense of control she felt over him. “Did you touch yourself, imagining how I would feel... taste?”

_Jesus Christ! This girl’s gonna kill me. I’m gonna dust right here and now, and I couldn’t care less._

Leaning forward, Buffy brought her nipple to his mouth and gasped when Spike drew her hard flesh between his lips and sucked voraciously. Threading her fingers through his hair, Buffy held him to her breast as his raspy tongue worked over her rosy bud. Releasing her with a final lick, he moved to favour her other breast with the same treatment. Panting for air at the sensations his mouth was creating, Buffy’s juices coated her inner thighs and she wanted nothing more than to take him inside her. Summoning all her willpower, she pulled away from his sensuous mouth and nipped at his pouting bottom lip.

Spike’s reactions to her every touch filled her with the confidence to act in ways she would never have dared before. Raising her hips, Buffy broke contact with his erection and moved back to straddle his thighs. Licking her lips, she trailed her fingers down her breasts, over her stomach and into her dripping wet panties. Spike was in serious danger of hyperventilating as he watched Buffy remove her glistening fingers from her thong and bring them to his lips. The scent was intoxicating and made him harder than ever before.

Spike’s efforts to regain control before embarrassing himself like a horny teenager were very nearly cut short, as Buffy leaned in closer and whispered against his ear, “wanna taste?”

Buffy’s entire body shivered as Spike locked his eyes with hers, never once looking away as he wrapped his tongue around her wet digits, groaning as the tangy taste of her arousal flooded his senses. Time seemed to stop as Spike dedicated himself to his mission, determined to find every drop of her sweet nectar. His task complete, Buffy withdrew her fingers from his mouth, eliciting a whimper of complaint from the tethered vampire.

Spike wasn’t sure how much more of her delicious torment he could handle. Lowering her lips to his neck, Buffy kissed and nipped at his pale skin, paying particular attention to Drusilla’s bite mark. Lightly tonguing the puckered scars, she covered the mark with her lips, sucking until the skin was red and bruised. Satisfied that she had marked him, Buffy felt a sense of ownership pass through her now that his insane sire’s scar was no longer visible. Abandoning her handy-work, Buffy trailed her lips downwards; mapping his body with her mouth and tongue, discovering and exploring the places that made him moan and shiver.

Spike groaned her name as she placed soft kisses along his hip bones, stroking his thighs with her palms; she continued to avoid his straining cock. A shudder passed through him as Buffy’s warm breath whispered against his aching length.

“Buffy, please,” he said, moaning as she kissed his thighs and her fingers played with the wiry curls at his groin. Looking up at him shamelessly, Buffy’s eyes teased him as she gave him a wicked smirk.

_Oh, you are so fucking perfect for me._ Licking his lips, Spike’s eyes dropped to take in the swell of her breasts. So beautiful, he thought, so mine.

“Please what, Spikey?” she asked, raking her nails over his stomach.

“Fuck, Buffy, just touch me... Please, luv, I need to feel your hot little hands on my cock,” he said, groaning and pulling against his bonds, not in the least concerned that he was openly begging her.

Buffy gazed up at him; a radiant smile lit her face as she climbed up his body and pressed his throbbing erection against her stomach. Spike’s eyes closed in relief when he felt her warm grip around his cock, slowly rubbing his length as she used his pre-come to ease her movements, working him in firm, steady strokes. Spike was soon panting as Buffy reached down with her spare hand to tenderly caress his sack. Throwing his head back into the pillow, Spike writhed beneath her as his hips pumped involuntarily into her grip.

_Wow, whoever said power was an aphrodisiac, wasn’t lying,_ thought Buffy, as she squeezed his balls gently, watching him arch towards her, desperate for more. This was what had been missing from her previous relationships. Buffy felt she could relax and have fun around Spike. He was so confident in himself, and unlike Angel or Riley, she didn’t need to hold back to protect his fragile ego.

Spike watched his Golden Goddess through hooded lids as she refused to break eye contact, gradually increasing her pace until he was groaning in need, frantic for release. Shuffling backwards on the bed, Buffy drew his nipple into her warm mouth before kissing a wet path down to his groin. Spike groaned as her soft hair fell in waves around her face tickling his stomach. His fingers itched to reach out and stroke her honey coloured locks, sighing in relief as he felt a bit of give in his restraints.

Buffy was the burning sun in the centre of his universe. She leant forward and dropped a soft kiss to his lips, and Spike was certain that this was the closest to heaven that he would ever get. The trust shone brightly in Buffy’s eyes as she pulled back, and Spike swore to himself that he would never do anything to compromise her faith in him. Sighing in contentment, his eyes fluttered closed as Buffy’s soft breath whispered against his straining cock, but flew open as she pressed a soft kiss to his swollen head.

“Bleedin’ Christ,” he said, as his eyes rolled back in his head. “Please, don’t stop. Wanna feel you—oh, fuck! Please, sweetheart.”

“Talk to me, Spike,” she said. “Tell me what you want.” Buffy’s wet heat surrounded his cock as she worked him into her mouth, pumping the remaining length with her hand.

_Oh God, this girl’s going to kill me. Death by shagging...What a way to go!_

Spike quickly filed away his more perverse fantasies, thinking Buffy wasn’t quite ready to hear what he wanted to do with a bottle of baby oil and one of her stakes, and proceeded to offer words of encouragement as he recounted his hearts desires. Spike’s hips bucked against her as she swirled her tongue around his shaft, swallowing around his sensitive tip and tasting the pre-come that gathered there. Lowering her head, she dropped soft kisses to his sack and Spike found himself wishing he could reach the golden hair that obscured his vision.

Buffy must have seen the silent plea written in his eyes. Raising her head, she gathered her hair into a loose ponytail and took his cock back into her mouth, giving him an unobstructed view as she swallowed around him. The sight was too much for the highly strung vampire to cope with. “Oh God, Buffy, you have to...I can’t...fuck, baby, I’m gonna come!” he said, writhing beneath her as she smiled around his length.

“What’s stopping you?” she asked, her eyes dancing in mirth as she returned her mouth to his rounded head.

Spike threw his head back and released a deafening roar as he emptied himself into Buffy’s willing mouth, watching as she eagerly swallowed his cool seed before releasing his spent shaft from between her lips. Wrenching his hands free from the leather restraint, Spike grabbed Buffy by the forearms and hauled her up the length of his body and into a bruising kiss, groaning as he tasted himself on her tongue. Rolling her beneath him, Spike peppered her face in hungry kisses, revelling in his newfound ability to hold her in his arms.

“You’re incredible,” he said, kissing along her jaw line and gently squeezing her breasts. Spike smirked as he ran his thumbs over Buffy’s puckered buds, making her hiss in pleasure and grind her body against him wantonly. “You’re also a bloody tease,” he said, smiling as he placed soft kisses against her collarbone and the swell of her breasts.

“Oh, God!” she said, groaning as Spike swirled his tongue over her right nipple, biting gently as he sucked rhythmically at her soft skin. “Hey, watch the teeth,” she said, laughing as he grinned wolfishly at her and moved to lap at the creamy undersides of her breasts.

“Don’t you worry, kitten. I’m not gonna let anything happen to these sweet little morsels.”

Spike’s left hand trailed over her stomach, rubbing soothing circles against her thigh as he settled himself comfortably between her legs.

“Gonna make you feel so good,” he said, kissing his way over her ribs until his eyes were level with her newly acquired scar.

The severity of the previous night rushed over him. Reaching out a tentative hand to trace the wound with his fingers, Spike vowed to protect this girl with everything he had. So lost in his own thoughts, he didn’t notice the look of concern on Buffy’s face.  
Her small hands cupped his cheeks as she forced him to look at her. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Spike could see the truth of her words in her anxious eyes. Buffy was taking control of her life, and if she wanted to be with him, nothing was going to tear her from his arms.

“Damn right, you’re not,” he said, cocky smirk firmly in place. “I’m never letting you go, pet. You’re mine.”

“Is that right?” Buffy asked glad to have brought Spike out of his sombre mood. “And what are you planning to do with me, Mr. the Bloody?”

Spike released a sinful chuckle as he gave her stomach a parting kiss. “Oh, sweetheart,” he said, drawing her panties down her legs. “I’m gonna make you scream.”


	4. Chapter 4

The man wasn’t kidding.

Spike slid his hands under her ass and raised Buffy’s hips to lap at her free-flowing juices. “Fuck, Buffy, you taste so good,” he said. “So sweet and juicy—could taste you forever and still not get enough.”

Running his hand over her thigh, Spike placed her leg over his shoulder and brought his thumb up to circle her throbbing bundle of nerves. Buffy panted heavily as Spike ran his tongue the entire length of her cleft and darted his tongue inside her heated channel to search for more of her sweet nectar.

Giving her engorged clit a parting kiss, Spike used his fingers to spread her swollen lips apart. He inhaled deeply as she released another rush of the aromatic moisture.

“You’re so hot, baby,” he said, slipping a finger between her folds and teasing her entrance. “Gonna burn me to ashes, you will.”

Buffy opened her mouth to deny his words, but instead, she clamped her eyes shut as Spike slowly pushed the tip of his finger inside her.

“Oh, please... please,” she said, moving her hips in a vain attempt to push him further inside. Spike chuckled at her actions and placed a hand on her hip to steady her.

Spike smirked as he pressed his finger against her hidden bud. “Please what, sweetling?” he asked, slipping inside her to the knuckle and driving Buffy insane as he quickly withdrew and brought the glistening digit to his mouth to suck it clean. “Tell me, Buffy. I want to hear the words.”

“Make me come, Spike,” she said, writhing against him. “Please... please touch me. I need you to touch me!”  
“Mmm... Such pretty begging.” Spike sent her an infuriating smirk. “Your wish is my command, kitten. Hold on tight.”

Buffy’s back arched off the bed as Spike took her clit between his teeth, simultaneously plunging two fingers inside her pussy and searching her silken walls for the spot that made her buck against his hand. His senses were consumed by her, surrounded by her unique scent, thundering heartbeat and heady gasps. Spike ruthlessly flicked his tongue over her engorged clitoris, grunting his pleasure against her skin as her body gifted him with her intoxicating release. Reaching blindly for his hair, Buffy ground her body against his mouth, sending a silent prayer of thanks that her lover was not of the oxygen dependant type.

“Oh, God! So good... so close... Spike, please!”

The sensations he created overwhelmed her. Gasping for breath, she clawed at his sheets and a thin layer of sweat covered her naked skin as Spike played her body like a true musician. Spike’s teeth closed over her clit, as his relentless tongue continued to swirl around her swollen bud.

“Let it all go, sweetheart,” he said, looking into her eyes. “Come for me, Buffy.”

His words sent her rushing headlong towards completion. His digits increased their unyielding pace and upon entering a third finger inside her quivering pussy, Spike crawled up and whispered in her ear.

“Scream for me, Buffy. Scream for your man.”

And she did.

Her euphoric cry echoed throughout the room as her body exploded. Buffy convulsed beneath him as wave after wave of unimagined pleasure shook her tiny frame.

“So fucking beautiful,” Spike said reverently, as his fingers continued to stroke and manipulate her pliant folds, expertly drawing out her pleasure.

“Oh God, Spike... That was... how did you do that?

“All part of my evil plan to keep you here, luv,” he said, admiring the way her breasts jiggled as she panted for breath. “I need you.” Taking her mouth in a searing kiss, Spike swallowed her soft whimpers and poised his erect cock at her entrance. “I love you, Buffy,” he said, driving forward and burying himself to the hilt in one sure thrust.

Buffy’s fingernails dug into his shoulders as her mouth flew open in a silent scream. Her highly sensitised body shuddered at his sudden invasion. Pulling him back to her lips, Buffy mewled as Spike ground his cock in a circular motion inside her yielding body, delighting at his comfortable weight pressing her into the mattress.

“Fuck... so hot... so tight... squeeze me, baby. Let me feel that pussy strangling my dick,” he said, reaching under her ass and pulling her into his thrusts. “Wrap your legs around me, luv. I wanna get deeper. Gonna bury myself so far inside, you won’t be able to walk straight!”

“Is that your idea of sweet talk?” Buffy asked, smiling as she raised her hips to meet his every plunge.

Spike laughed as he slipped a hand between their bodies and circled her clit with his thumb. “You don’t want it sweet, Slayer,” he said, flashing a sinful smirk. “You want it hard... nasty.” Running his tongue the length of Buffy’s neck, he jerked his hips and bit down with his blunt teeth, revelling as she groaned at the contact. “You want it real.”

Angling his hips to brush against her clit, Spike thrust into her welcoming body with long steady strokes. His eyes never left those of the girl writhing and panting beneath him.

“Spike! Oh, God...you feel so good. I’ve never felt...”

Raising his hand to brush the hair back from her face, Spike dropped soft kisses to the corners of her mouth. “Hush, sweetheart,” he said. “Just relax and let me take care of you, yeah?”

Increasing his pace, he slammed into Buffy’s warm body. Spike maintained a tight rein on his demon as it roared within him, screaming for Spike to claim what was rightfully his. His eyes flashed yellow as he fixed his sight on Buffy’s racing pulse point. Her blood beckoning him, calling him home.

_Not yet, mate,_ he thought. _Too soon. The girl’s not ready. Can’t bollocks this up now!_

Without breaking their intimate connection, Spike grasped the squealing Slayer by the waist and rolled to his back, grinning uncontrollably. “Much as I love the sight of you with your legs in the air, luv, how ‘bout I let you drive for a bit, huh?”

Shaking her head in disbelief, Buffy couldn’t help smiling at the light-hearted vampire. Accustomed to his trademark smirks and scowls, she’d rarely seen a genuine smile on his lips, and she was overjoyed to know that she was responsible for putting it there.

“Such a romantic,” she said, as she unhurriedly rose and fell above him. “Can’t think why I didn’t jump your undead bones sooner!”

A deep chuckle rumbled through Spike’s chest as he grabbed her hips and slammed her down onto his length, delighting in the pleasure-filled moan that burst from her lips.

“Mmm, me neither. Who needs romance?” he asked, eyes trained on the sight of her heavenly pussy swallowing his glistening cock.

Buffy’s head lulled to the side and she released a contented sigh. The slow glide of his erection within her silken walls stretched and filled her like nothing before, rapidly pushing her towards what was sure to be a mind-blowing orgasm.

“Look at us, baby,” he said, thrusting his hips to mirror her movements. “So perfect together... I’ll never get enough of this... never gonna let you go.”

Buffy began a rhythmic clenching of her internal muscles, causing Spike to screw his eyes shut in an attempt to stave off his impending release.

“Don’t want to go. Wanna stay,” Buffy said, gasping as she rode him faster. “Never leave you... want this... want you... forever.”

Spike’s undead heart soared and his demon clamoured to the surface at her confession.

“Forever’s a long time, baby,” he said, willing his demon to stand down.

He was terrified that Buffy would see him for the monster he was and flee from his arms. Buffy watched as Spike’s demon visage burst to the forefront. The prominent bumps and ridges that had frightened her younger self now fascinated her. He was still beautiful. Spike’s vicious nature was legendary amongst the demon community, and yet, the hands that could beat the hell out of any creature touched her with an aching tenderness. Sat astride this contradiction of a vampire, Buffy felt anything but threatened.

She felt free.

Spike’s eyes fluttered open as soft fingertips ghosted over his furrowed brow. His mask melted away the instant he met Buffy’s concerned gaze.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, slowing her movements to a gentle rocking motion.

“I’m sorry, luv,” he murmured. “I tried to control it, I swear... my demon’s screamin’ at me... wants me to- -”

“Bite me?” she asked. The very thought of Spike’s fangs in her neck sent an electrified shiver racing down her spine.

Mistaking her excitement for panic, Spike rushed to reassure her. “You have nothing to fear from me, Buffy,” he said, taking her hands in his and giving them a comforting squeeze. “I promise you, I’m never gonna hurt you again. Those days are long gone.”

“I know, Spike,” she said, entwining their fingers and resting both hands on his chest. “I believe you.”

Spike could swear he felt his own heart beating in his chest. Buffy was staring at him with complete trust in her eyes, as if he was the only man in the world. In over a century, nobody had looked at him as she was now, and the feeling was overwhelming.

“It doesn’t just want to bite you, pet,” he said, glancing down nervously. “It wants to mark you as mine.” Spike was unable to meet her eyes, refusing to see the disgust and rejection that no doubt resided there.

“Are you saying you want to claim me?” she asked, a hint of trepidation creeping into her voice.

_What the fuck!?_

Spike’s head shot up, his surprised eyes searching her own enquiring gaze. “What do you know ‘bout claims, luv?” Spike asked, arching a scarred eyebrow. “Didn’ figure you as the research type.”

_Oh boy. He’s not going to like this!_

Choosing her words carefully, Buffy braced herself for a confrontation with the emotional vampire.

“Giles told me about them... when I was dating Angel,” she said, leaning down to kiss his lips when he growled in response to the mention of her ex. “He was always telling me not to let him near my neck,” she said, frowning. “I told Giles he was seriously over-stepping the normal Watcher, slayer boundaries so he explained it to me. He said that if Angel bit me he could control me through the bite.”

_I always knew ol’ Ripper was a crafty bugger!_ Spike thought, amused at the Watcher’s clever deception, and feeling a begrudging respect for Buffy’s surrogate father.

“Sounds like you’ve been misinformed, luv,” he said, reaching up to tangle his left hand in her hair. “It’s not about control. It’s more about... belonging. If I claimed you, it would tie us together.”

“So, it’s like a marriage?” Buffy asked, wrinkling her nose as she pondered his words. “Why would Giles lie to me like that?”

“Probably didn’t know any better,” Spike said shrugging. “Council of Wankers likes to keep these things quiet. Don’t want their sweet little slayers gettin’ corrupted by nasty vampires.” Spike stroked her nipples and caused Buffy to moan. The sound travelled straight to his cock, where it twitched within her silken walls.

“Claims are rare among vamps. Most have never even heard of ‘em,” he said, continuing hesitantly. “The thing is, Buffy, the claim binds two life forces together, and most vampires are either too selfish or scared to tie their existence to another person.” Spike watched as the words sank into Buffy’s mind and understanding spread over her features. “I wouldn’t force something like that on you, sweetheart.”

“I don’t understand, Spike,” she asked. “Why would you want that with me? Slayers aren’t exactly known for their long life expectancy.”

Spike pulled her down against his chest and wrapped a secure arm around her waist. “You really are a daft chit, you know that, luv? I think all that peroxide’s affected that pretty blonde head of yours.”

Buffy shot him an offended look and frowned when he plastered an innocent look on his face. Losing herself in the myriad of emotions that flickered over his handsome features, Buffy relented as he brushed soft kisses against her face.

“Watch it, bleached wonder. You’re hardly one to talk!” she said, ruffling his hair and giggling at his indignant pout.

Tucking her blond locks behind her ear, Spike sighed, deciding to lay his cards on the table. “I never thought I’d get to experience this with anyone,” he said, staring into her eyes. “I’ve never felt like this before, Buffy. All those years I thought it was love with Dru, but it was all an illusion.” Buffy felt a tear slip down her cheek when she saw the sincerity in his eyes. “This, right here is real,” he whispered, brushing the moisture from her face with his thumb. “And I know this is crazy. I know I shouldn’t have found this with a slayer of all people, but... it feels like I’ve been waiting for you my entire existence.”

Buffy lost all semblance of control as the tears poured down her face, anointing Spike with their salty blessing.

“I love you, Buffy,” he said, kissing her wet cheeks. “If I lost you, sweetheart... I couldn’t... well, let’s just say I’d take myself on a nice early morning stroll.”

“Spike, no, don’t say that!”

“Not up for debate, luv,” he said, his tone leaving no room for discussion. “And besides, it’s a moot point anyway. I’ll be damned all over again if I’m gonna let anything happen to you.”

A thousand emotions washed over her as she listened to his words. Looking back, their entire history was a dance, with each step leading them to here and now. During the restless nights when sleep evaded her, Buffy had always feared she was falling in love with the enigmatic vampire, but now, joined so intimately, his words of devotion still echoing in her ears, she knew she had already fallen. Hook, line and proverbial sinker.

Buffy brushed a soft kiss to his lips and rose above him once more, moaning as she rocked her hips against him. Obviously, it took more than a life altering conversation to affect his desire, because Spike was still erect and throbbing within her. Lifting slowly, Buffy began a gentle rhythm, each movement rebuilding the fire between them.

“Would now be a good time to tell you, I love you?” she asked, grinning at the wide-eyed look of shock on Spike’s face. Suddenly, the room began to spin and Buffy found herself flat on her back with an eager vampire pumping between her thighs.

Spike had dreamt of this moment, but hearing the words fall from her lips was too much to bear. Buffy could see him struggling to maintain control. Smiling she pulled his face to look at her.

“Don’t hold back, Spike,” she said, caressing his cheeks. “Let me see you.” With a deep growl, he let the bones beneath her palms shift and his demon burst forth. “There’s my vampire.”

Without flinching, Buffy pulled him to her mouth and kissed his lips. Running her tongue along one lethal fang, she sliced it before plunging her bleeding tongue into his mouth. The taste of her potent blood fuelled his demon, simultaneously magnifying Spike’s arousal. The kiss turned passionate and soon they were both panting for breath. Spike rested his forehead against hers as Buffy tightened her arms around his waist.

“I don’t want to hurt you, luv,” he said, fearing his demon’s intense reaction to the girl in his arms.

“You won’t,” she said, arching into him. “I trust you, Spike.”

“I can’t promise you I won’t get rough,” he said, smirking as he swivelled his hips. “Well... rougher.”

“I can take it,” she said confidently.

Buffy wrapped her legs around his slender waist; her eyes challenged him to prove her wrong. Buffy shivered as Spike ran his raspy tongue down the column of her neck, sucking at her pulse point before nipping at her collarbone. His fangs trailed across her skin leaving tiny pin-points of blood in their wake. Swiping his tongue over the sweet ambrosia, Spike brought his mouth back to Buffy’s, kissing her hungrily.

Reaching down, Buffy grasped his firm ass signalling him to pick up the pace. Needing no more encouragement, Spike held her hands above her head in his strong grip as he began to pound her into the mattress. Buffy quickly realised that she liked being restrained. Staring into his intense yellow gaze; the raw power of Spike’s demon dominating her, was driving her out of her mind. Quickly she became pliant in his arms, desperate for more of his possessive touch.

Releasing his strong grip, Spike ran his hands down to palm her breasts, finally settling at her waist as he lowered his full weight against her. Spike was panting so hard he was almost dizzy.

“Jesus, Buffy,” he gasped in her ear. “So damn good—yeah like that, pet—fuck me back.”

Buffy’s fingernails dug into his shoulders, drawing blood as she clutched him tighter. The scent of their combined blood and arousal in the air was making Spike’s demon howl.

Buffy sank her teeth into his shoulder to muffle a scream. She suddenly found herself yanked forward and sat astride Spike’s bent legs, cradled securely in his arms as he continued to thrust into her from beneath. Fisting her hands in his blonde curls, Buffy drew him into a bruising kiss, unmindful of his fangs, only releasing him when she was forced to breathe. Gasping for air, she dropped her head to his shoulder and buried her face in his neck.

“That’s my sweet girl,” he whispered in her ear when they established a steady rhythm.

The constant slip and slide of his cock, and the tight grip he held on her waist were addictive, and Buffy knew she would be craving his touch for eternity. Spike was trying desperately to hold off his orgasm, but in this position, face buried in her hair, surrounded by her perfume and warm breath, he knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

“Spike, Oh, God... Yes!”

Buffy was rapidly approaching her own release. With swollen lips and golden hair plastered to her sweaty forehead, Spike thought he had never seen her more beautiful than right here in his arms. Her skin was saturated with his scent and it was driving him wild. Once again his eyes fixed on the site of her racing pulse and frantic to avoid the temptation, he lifted Buffy from his cock and man-handled her onto her stomach.

Leaning over her small frame, he ran his tongue up the full length of her spine before taking a firm grip on her hips and driving into her tight pussy from behind. Buffy screamed in pleasure as his fangs pierced her shoulder and he lapped at the blood as he pulled her forcibly into his thrusts.

“You like that, baby?” he asked, grunting as he slammed into her. “You like being fucked from behind by a demon?” Spike gathered her hands and pinned them to the small of her back, never once breaking his punishing rhythm.

“Yes! God, Spike, don’t stop. Please don’t stop!” she said, her body shuddering and voice rising in pitch with each powerful thrust.

“Can you feel me, baby? Feel my cock moving inside you? You love it don’t you?” Spike yanked hard on her arms, pulling her so that she was kneeling before him, her back to his chest. Their bodies flush together as they moved in a timeless dance; Buffy tilted her head to the side and grabbed hold of his hair, pulling his mouth to her neck.

“Spike, please,” she begged, her eyes closed in bliss. “Make me yours. Make it forever!”

So close to the edge, Spike told his inner William to take a hike. Buffy was asking and he was too weak to refuse her anything. Lifting her by the waist, Spike spun Buffy around to face him, his eyes searching her own for any signs of apprehension. Seeing nothing but fierce determination, Spike slammed her down onto his cock and placed a heated kiss to her lips.

“Tell me you love me,” he said, threading his fingers through her hair and forcing her eyes to his. “I need to hear the words.”

“I love you. I love you! God, Spike... please.”

Her rich slayer blood called to him like a siren’s cry. Spike’s fangs sliced through the tender skin of her neck, leaving them both shuddering as he lapped at his claim mark.

“Mine, Buffy. You’re mine.”

“Yours,” she said wearily, sagging against his heaving chest.

Spike’s hand gently cupped her neck, guiding her mouth towards the soft flesh of his jugular.

“You have to complete the claim, pet. I need you to bite me. Can you—”

Spike gasped as Buffy sank her blunt teeth into his neck and took a tentative sip of his blood.

“Mine. My vampire!”

Spike’s cock pulsed inside her, coating her walls with his essence as they cried out in a rapturous duet.

“Yours,” he said, holding her tightly. “I’ve always been yours.”

Buffy rested, secure in Spike’s arms as exhaustion washed through her body. Something within her locked into place and she knew nothing but love and an overwhelming sense of completeness. Leaning against Spike’s chest, she felt him drop a tender kiss into her hair.

“I love you, Buffy,” he said, his voice trembling with repressed emotion.

“I love—” Buffy’s declaration was cut short as she stifled a yawn, causing Spike to chuckle as he carefully manoeuvred them up the bed. Pulling Buffy into his arms, he held her against her chest, stroking her lower back.

“Did I wear you out, luv?” Spike smirked as Buffy entangled her legs with his, releasing a sigh of contentment. “Any regrets?” he asked hesitantly, holding his unnecessary breath as Buffy considered her answer.

“Only one,” she said, snuggling closer and dropping a kiss to Spike’s chest when she felt his arms tense around her. “I wish we’d done this sooner.”

Spike smiled as he ran his fingers through her hair. “Don’t worry, luv. We’ve got all the time in the world,” he said. “You can put your hot little hands on me whenever you feel like it.” Buffy laughed as he drew her into a soft kiss. “Thank you,” Spike whispered, when he broke the kiss. “Thank you for trusting me... loving me. You don’t know what that means to me.”

“I have an idea,” she said softly, cupping his cheek in her palm. “Of course, you do realise what this means, don’t you?” Buffy asked, a mischievous grin spreading across her lips.

“And what’s that, luv?” Spike said, returning her grin with a sinfully sexy smirk designed to make her melt into a puddle of Buffy shaped goo.

“Well, Mr. I’m-so-proud-of-myself, let’s just say it’s in both our interests to keep me alive and—“

“Shagging?” Spike asked, grinning and waggling his eyebrows indecently, earning himself a playful shove from the giggling Slayer.

“Kicking,” she said, brushing a soft kiss against his lips. “So I guess that makes you my big, bad vampire protector.”

“Bloody hell, luv,” Spike said, throwing his head back and groaning. “Don’t say stuff like that. I’m still the toughest vamp around this town.”

Smirking at his indignant glare, Buffy moved to straddle his lap, smiling as Spike listed the many reasons that he was indeed the baddest vamp that ever unlived.

“Whatever you say, Big Bad,” Buffy said, smiling as Spike continued to grumble beneath her. She knew the man behind the monster; he could have his delusions if it made him happy.

“Oi! Watch it, Slayer,” he said, unable to hide the affectionate smile that played on his lips. “Guess I’ll be making a habit of rescuing damsels in distress, huh?” Wrapping his arms around her waist, Spike pulled her against his burgeoning erection. “Suppose there are worse gigs out there.”

“So, does that make you my knight in black leather?” Buffy asked, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“No, luv,” Spike said, rolling her beneath him and leaning in to whisper against her lips. “Just makes me yours.”


End file.
